Spotting the New Dad In the Wild

A helpful guide

Walk into any doctor’s waiting room, any supermarket, any off-license amusement park and you may find yourself confronted by the wild New Dad.

Don’t panic.

They’re fairly docile unless you come too close to its young. Don’t sneeze and for god’s sake cover your mouth when you cough. Avoid sudden moves and loud noises. He might be taking a 10-second nap and you don’t want to wake him.

If the baby is asleep, you sure as hell don’t want to make any loud noises.

The New Dad in the wild just wants to go about its business quickly and quietly so they can get back to their den.

How to spot the New Dad in the wild? Here’s a handy checklist:

• Diapers in one pocket.
• Baggie with wipes in another.
• Disposable plastic shopping bags in yet another pocket because those Koala Care changing stations don’t always have liners.
• More disposable plastic shopping bags because sometimes there’s no Koala Care changing table and the staff at Starbucks get a little snippy when you don’t lay something down on the counter before taking care of any changing duties.
• Wallet, thin, because there’s no money in it and we keep baby photos on our…